Why Max Doesn't Cook
by ExileScenery
Summary: (ONESHOT) The REAL story behind why Max avoids having to cook anything... Major FAX Rated T because it is...


**( A/N: HEYY IT ME AGAIN. JUST TO LET YOU KNOW, THE AGES IN THE STORY AREEE**

**Angel is 4, Nudge is 9, Gazzy is 6, Fang, Iggy and Max are about 14.**

**And Jeb hasn't 'disappeared' yet.. ssoo... REVIEW YOUR THOUGHTS ON IF I SHOULD MAKE ANOTHER CHAPTER FOR THIS.. BYEE)**

**(BTW: I DO NOT OWN MAXIMUM RIDE)**

**Max'sPOV**

"Max? You awake?" Someone whispered into my ear. I peaked my eyes open to see Nudge and baby Angel kneeling by my bed.

"I am now. What's wrong?" I asked sweetly since Angel was here.

"Angel kept sending thoughts into my head that she was hungry and after a little while I got hungry too." Nudge explained quickly.

"And?" I asked her again.

"Jeb and Iggy are still asleep and they get mad. Can you make something?" Nudge asked me.

"I-I-..." I stuttered. I've never cooked before... Hmm..

"Please?" Angel whispered in a sweet 4-year-old voice. I was about to fake passing out but then..

They used. The Bambi Eyes. O.O

Of course, I caved.

"Yeah, sure. You guys go back to bed while I cook whatever is here.." I muttered while Nudge and Angel did silent high fives, running out of my room. I rolled my eyes and rolled out of bed. I stretched my wings out them folded them over my black tank top. I pulled my black shorts down a bit so they weren't showing anything. I yawned and walked out, shutting the door behind me. I walked into the kitchen and looked around at everything. Jeb usually does all the cooking. And when he doesn't, Iggy does it. I guess I'll have to learn sooner or later.

Okay... What now?

A stove, microwave, oven, sink, fridge and a bunch of cupboards and shelves filled the room. I never really go in the kitchen. Actually, most of the time I avoid it. The only time I have to go in the kitchen EVER is to wash dishes. And when you live in a house full of freaking bird kids, dishes aren't fun.

And I've always wondered.

Birds don't eat_ that _much.

Thus the term 'you eat like a bird'.

So why do we have to eat so much?

Anyways...

I opened one of the cupboards and ran my hand lightly over the various boxes.

"Cereal.. no.. Soup... no.. Hmm? Pancakes! Yes!" I whispered happily to myself, pulling out the box.

"Please read directions carefully... Nah." I skimmed through the words on the side of the box quickly.

While I did this, the hairs on the back of my neck prickled and I spun around. And pair of obsidian eyes greeted me. They were so close, my eyes widened and I jumped back, holding my mouth so I wouldn't scream. I dropped the box of pancake mix and let go of my mouth, breathing heavily.

Fang's mouth twitched up until it was a full-out grin. His black hair resting slightly above his shoulders. He was in black short and his dark wings were twitching behind his bare chest.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed quietly. He raised an amused eyebrow at me.

"I live here." He whispered. I glared at him, but it just made him smile more.

I knelt, and picked up the pancake box off the floor. He watched my every movement.

"If you don't mind I'd like to go back to what I was doing." I hinted at him and he just looked at me.

"Actually, I do mind. You've never cooked anything! Aside from the occasional PopTart, but those are burnt too!" He retorted.

I pointed my finger accusingly at the toaster on the table. "That wasn't my fault! The _toaster _cooked it too long!"

"Still! Just wait for Iggy to wake up!"

"I can't! Do you think I _really_ want to be _cooking_ at 3:00 am! Well newsflash, Fang! I don't! I try to keep a safe distance from the kitchen but Nudge and Angel used the freakin' BAMBI EYES! You try resisting those at 3:00 am!" I said quickly, I doubt Fang heard all of it but the message went across and his eyes widened.

"Wow." He said and I nodded.

"And now, instead of sleeping, I get to possibly burn the freakin' house down!" I sat down at the table and rested my head on the top. I felt his hand trace a line from my neck, between my wings, to the bottom of my back. I shivered and my wings twitched slightly.

"It's okay, Max." He cooed softly into my ear and I turned my head to look at him. His eyes were comforting and warmer than usual. I found them soothing. I nodded a bit and stood up again, grabbing the box off the counter.

"You can go back to bed, Fang." I told him and he raised an eyebrow.

"You know how to use a fire extinguisher?" He asked skeptically.

I stayed silent and he smirked. "Didn't think so. So I'm staying." He said, sitting down at the table and crossing his arms over his chest. I rolled my eyes but internally, I was glad he was staying.

"Okay, eggs, butter, flour, and mix. Doesn't seem that hard." **(A/N: So.. I don't know the ingredients for pancakes and all the one's I searched were really complicated so I went off my knowledge...) **I muttered to myself and walked over to the fridge. I pulled on the handle to make it open but it wouldn't budge! I set of hands took hold of the handle, pushed it down and the door came free. I looked at the door wide-eyed and then back at Fang.

"Fang: 1 Max: 0" He smiled, slyly and I turned away from him. I took a stick of butter, the eggs and closed the fridge with my foot. I put those on the table and turned to look for the flour. It sat on the top shelf, up higher than me. I blew some hair out of my eyes and climbed onto the counter and stood, shakily up. I reached to the left for it and I got it. I pulled it close and started moving back, when I slipped on something wet. I gasped as I fell backwards onto the floor and my back came in contact with it. My breath left my body and I breathed heavily.

"Max!" Fang said loudly and I put a finger to my lips and noticed something. My fingers were white. In fact, everything was white. I caught my breath and sat up painfully. When I looked around, I groaned and fell back again, but Fang scooped me up before I could hit the floor. His eyes were now alert and worried. He pushed me up to a sitting position and I sighed, looking around.

Turns out, when I fell, I squeezed the flour and it popped open, spraying everything in a white coating. I looked at Fang and his hair had lines of white in it too. I giggled and he scowled.

"What are you laughing at?" He asked.

"Your hair." I said through the giggles. He raised his eyebrows at me and scooped me up off the ground like I weighed nothing.

"I hate to break it to you..." He started walking for the bathroom and flipped the light on. He set me down, but didn't move his hands from my shoulders. I looked in the small mirror and gasped.

My hair was ALL white and my face was lightly coated too. Fang saw my reaction and grinned,wildly.

"I think the white really works with your eyes." He whispered huskily with hints of softness. He turned me around carefully and his eyes connected with mine.

We were so close. Our noses were only an inch away, maybe less.

I smiled. "Right back at ya." I whispered. He smiled too and a second later, all space was closed off between our lips.

My arms, sorely, wrapped around his neck, pulling him down a bit, as his traveled down and draped tightly around my waist. He tilted his head and I did to the other side, slightly.

I don't know how long that went on, but soon after, I saw spots in my eyes and felt dizzy. I pulled away, breathing heavily and Fang was too. His eyes were sparkling with joy and happiness, something I've _never_ seen in them before.

And I look at his eyes a lot.

I brought a hand up and moved it messily through his hair, shaking all the flour out of it. When I was done, he blew some of the flour out of mine and ran his hands through it. He broke through several knots, making me wince.

"Don't you ever brush your hair?" He asked, amused. I narrowed my eyes.

"Do you ever not brush your hair?" I said back and he smirked. I turned in his grip and started walking towards the kitchen, only to be held back.

"Let me go!" I hissed at Fang and he raised an eyebrow.

"You're still making pancakes..?" He asked.

I put on a serious face and nodded. "I will not be defeated by a bag of flour." I pulled harder and finally came free, stumbling forward.

He grabbed my hand, steadying me and then kissed my forehead.

"Do what has to be done." He whispered seriously. I smiled and walked out of the bathroom, happily. I blew a stray hair out of my face and weaved through the kitchen. I picked up the flour and set it on the counter with the eggs and butter. Fang leaned against the door frame of the bathroom, waiting for me to screw up again.

I got the mixing bowl out from under the sink and poured some flour into the bowl. Maybe a bit too much. Then cracked the eggs, getting some shell in there. And the butter too. Along with some water and the mix maker from the box. I stirred it with a wooden spoon and it turned into a weird clumpy milk looking thing.

"Those don't look like pancakes..." I muttered to myself.

"You have to cook them." Fang added. I glanced at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Like in the oven?" I asked sceptically. He shook his head.

"On the stove top." he explained.

"Ohh. But wont it go into the stove?"

"You use a pan."

It kind of made sense.

No. Not really but I made it look like it made sense to me.

I pulled a pan from under the sink too and set it on the stove top. I scowled at all the switches on it and flipped one up.

I set it onto HIGH mode.

Seems right.

I poured some of the battery stuff on the top of the pan and they formed little circles. I made 4 for now and would make more after. I set the bowl down and wiped my hands on my shirt and shorts and spun around to see Fang silently clapping his hands. I smiled and bowed dramatically and smiled. He walked closer and wrapped is arms around my waist again.

"Where were we exactly?" He asked quietly.

I grinned. "I believe we were..." I leaned forward and kissed him gently. We both closed our eyes. He deepened it immediately and my arms went around his neck again. He walked forward, making me back up a bit. He walked more and I backtracked until my back came in contact with the a wall. My eyes snapped open but shut again after a second. His tongue asked for an entrance. Actually, no.

It begged.

I separated my lips gladly and he slipped inside. Mine and his, fought for dominance and I was starting to get light-headed again. I started breathing through my nose. But when I did... smoke filled my lungs.

BOOM!

CRACKLE!

HISS!

My eyes shot open and we separated, Fang pulling me down to the ground. We covered our heads as burning things rained down on us. I cried out as some of it hit me and Fang's head turned to look at me.

"Max!" He was worried and swiped some of the burning pieces off of my wings and back.

I breathed heavily and shuttered. We stayed covered until the raining was over and I rolled over, sitting up. But then:

One big chunk of black pelted me in the stomach and I cried out once more. I squeezed my eyes closed and held the spot, throwing the black thing off.

"It... Burns..." I said gasped. Fang scooted me back until I was against the wall, slowly and I opened my eyes to see what happened.

It was simple.

The 'pancakes' exploded EVERYWHERE!

The burning continued and I hissed in pain.

"It's okay. It's okay." Fang whispered, searching for where it was hurting and when he found it, he gasped. "Oh Max!"

I heard loud footsteps and soon, Jeb was here, searching the kitchen until he looked down and his blue eyes widened. I tried to speak but it hurt too! I called out in agony, louder this time.

"What happened here?" Jeb asked frantically.

"Max's pancakes exploded!" Fang said quickly, nodding to the black spots everywhere as Jeb rushed to the stove, flipping the switch off and tossing the pan into the sink. He turned back to us and his eyes scanned me for injuries and when they reached my stomach...

"Oh my god." He gasped and knelt next to me. He traced the burn and I felt tears stream down my face, biting my lip to stop the scream that I want to let out.

"Burns!" I gasped and started breathing heavily again. Jeb moved to my side and Fang moved to the other. They grabbed my arms and hoisted me into standing, holding me by my shoulders. They rushed to my room and the door was pushed open.

They laid me on top of the small bed I had and my wings twitched around under me. I squeezed my eyes shut again, laying a hand on my burning stomach.

"Max! Maximum, I need you to stay awake okay? Max!" Jeb practically yelled and I nodded slightly, peeking an eye open. Fang was sitting on the edge of my bed, watching in fear, as Jeb put a hand on his shoulder.

"I have to go for a second. Don't let her move." He ordered and Fang nodded.

He left the room and Fang scooted closer to me and held my hand between both of his.

"Shh.. Shh.. it's alright. Shh..." He cooed softly and I started to breathe easier and my eyes were fully open. Jeb came back in and pushed the chair I had in my room over to my bed, sitting in it and squeezing something into his hand. Cream.

"Pull her shirt up so the burn isn't covered." He said to Fang, who obeyed quickly. I looked over at it and I sucked in a shaky breath.

The spot was red, black and huge! Jeb sensed my fear and held my shoulder down with his free hand.

"This'll burn, Maximum." He warned and I closed my eyes again. I felt bubbling on the burn and my wings shook and flapped slightly, trying to flee from the pain. Fang squeezed my hand and my breathing hitched as the burning got worse!

How could it get worse!

_How?_

_How?_

_**How!?**_

I shouted out in pain and hot tears went down my face. I was sobbing.

"Stop! Make it stop! Please! No more!" I cried and cried and cried.

"Max, it's okay. It's almost over. Shh.. Shh..." Fang whispered into my ear and I bit my lip to keep from screaming again. Rabid footsteps approached and the burning went down. I coughed hard and almost choked. Jeb rubbed my shoulders and said, "It's over Maximum. It's over. Max, Calm down."

I listened close to every word e spoke and quieted down. I swallowed and Opened my eyes to see the WHOLE flock in my room. Crowded around me. Angel and Nudge were crying.

"We're so sorry Max! Oh my god..!" Nudge cried out, hugging me tight. I yelped and she pulled away.

"Are you okay?" Iggy asked, his sightless eyes wide.

"I'm fine guys. Fine. Okay?" I croaked out and his eyes softened.

"You don't sound okay." Gazzy said. And I smiled at him. I took Jeb's hand off my shoulder and sat up slowly.

"Lay back down, Maximum. The burn has not healed yet." He warned.

"I said I'm fine." I retorted. No, I wasn't 'fine' but I was better.

Fang was watching me closely and not blinking at all. I put a hand on his shoulder and he calmed down a bit.

"Max, please lay down. We'll make breakfast and bring it to you. You have to let the burn mend a little longer before moving around. Maybe a day." Jeb pleaded. I looked into his blue eyes and nodded, leaning back. He gently pushed my shoulders down to help without hurting me.

"Everyone out. Max needs rest." Iggy called. Everyone but Fang and Jeb left. Fang was glued to my side and Jeb raised an eyebrow at us.

"Go to sleep Maximum. You too Fang." He whispered and walked out of the room, closing the door.

"You heard him. Got to sleep." I said to Fang. He smirked and Moved off the bed.

"As you wish." He whispered, pulling my bed covers up and laying down there. I turned a few times and got under the covers too. I snuggled up against him and he put his arms around me protectively. He leaned down and kissed my forehead softly and murmured against my head, "No more cooking for you."

I smiled and relaxed against him, falling asleep easily and happily.

** (A/N: YAY! FAXNESS! TTYL PEOPLE! REQUEST A NEW CHAPTER IF YOU THINK THERE SHOULD BE ONE!)**


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